Friday, July 17, 2009

F U Friday: The Pope

Following the footsteps of (i.e. copying) Narm, largely responsible for this blog's existence (though he may not want to take ownership of that responsibility), I introduce my weekly segment: F U Friday.

Each week, I will chose someone who I feel has been particularly douchey as of late, and give them big "F U."

This first episode comes a week late; I got busy last Friday and couldn't very well have my Friday segment debut on a Saturday.

Without further ado, I give you Joseph Alois Ratzinger, aka Pope Benedict XVI.

Recent Crimes against Awesome:
• Last week, Joey released his third encyclical, Caritas in Veritate (Charity in Truth), in which he proposes a radical overhaul of the world economy, calling for a global economic authority. He also characterizes birth control and gay marriage as not only immoral, but bad for the economy. This all came just before the G8 summit and his sit-down with Obama.

• When meeting with Obama, he gave the president a booklet on bio-ethics, outlining the church's opposition to embryonic stem cell research, abortion, etc.

Am I missing something here? No matter how much I tilt my head sideways, I cannot for the life of me see how the pope could be in a position to advise world leaders on the economy. We certainly don't want to look to the Vatican for moral direction. And science??? Please.

Historic Crimes against Awesome:
• Being a Nazi (in all fairness, he didn't actually have a choice in the matter to join Hitler's Youth).

• Having ridiculous, arrogant names and titles. "His Holiness," "The Holy See," "Holy Father," to name a few.
His official title is, "His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God." No joke.
His chosen nickname is Benedict XVI. Not only is this by definition unoriginal, but everyone knows you don't give yourself a nickname.

• Calling homosexuality an "intrinsic moral evil."

• Limiting women to motherhood and virginity, the "roles inscribed in her own biology."

Saving Grace

So please join me in giving Joey a resounding "F U!"

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  1. yeah yeah a big FU to this crazy old man who has now fractured his wrist.... I am sure God fractured his wrist so that by his suffering the rest of the world can be purified

  2. What about that broken wrist? Where was this god he keeps pushing on the world when he actually harmed himself? Wouldn't you think that god's right hand man would have been spared the injury?
    That's what baffles me about xtians, god is every where for them but forgot the pope.