Thursday, July 9, 2009

Letter from a Christian Nation

Dear School Board of America,

I'm writing this here letter to tell you that you should teach Integillent Design in our school science classes.

Integillent Design is a scientific fact because it says so in the Bible and we know the Bible is fact because there are still monkeys. Unlike evolution, which is just a THEORY.

Now I know some of those damned atheists out there are trying to redefine what a scientific theory is, saying things like, "scientific theories don't graduate into scientific laws" and "scientific theories are made up laws, hypotheses and accepted knowledge, and are testable explanations of facts." What does this jibber-jabber even mean? Now, we all know theories are just guesses, like it says in the Constitution, which was written by the Bible.

These are the same faggot atheists, you see, that are trying to change what atheist means. They want us to believe that "atheism is simply a lack of belief in a god or gods and doesn't necessitate a belief in Darwinism or anything else, nor does it claim to know for certain that gods or unicorns or leprechauns don't exist." Now that's just horseshit! Jesus said to his pet dinosaur that atheists are queers who worship the devil and pretend not to believe in God because they want to have butt sex and murder babies.

Is this what our kids should be learning in science class? No. They should be learning the word of God, which is in the Bible, which we know is true because God said so in the Bible.

Jesusly yours,

John Q. Christiansen

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1 comment:

  1. Are you telling me I have to be an atheist to have butt sex?

    My gf is SO lucky I still go to Church twice a year.